'It Was Sorta Like, Having Two Grandmas

 Happy Birthday Cornelia and Carmelia

or 'Lil Piece' and 'Big Piece'

Today would have been my maternal grandmother's birthday.  Well, not only her's but her twin as well. Since they were identical and sometimes hard to tell apart, it felt like I had two grandmas growing up. Looking at old pics of them and hearing the stories they played on people, it was fun to watch the two of them together. I could tell them apart in person, but I would stare at those old pictures and try to pic out MY grandma.  Sometimes I would be right, it got easier as I grew older. Hell, sometimes even they would argue over who was who in a picture. Funny! They would often show up to family events dressed alike, and everyone would be amazed to learn they didn't plan it in advance. And even though I grew up around all of my cousins, I feel like I have a special connection with my cousins that have one of the 'twins' for a grandma.. I be like, "This my cousin, our grandma's were TWINS!" I don't know, just something about it. They would have been 89 today. May their beautiful souls rest in peace.  I know you two are watching over all of us. I love you both, but especially my Grandma!

'We Tell ALL Our Business Nowadays'....

Gone are the days when certain things weren't discussed in open company. I remember when it wasn't  cool to tell every thought that crossed your mind.  While we might have 'claimed' a certain political party, most of the time it was understood that you didn't ask someone 'who you voting for'. Now maybe due to social media, it has become customary to openly discuss who you are voting for, why, what day and time; AND you gonna post a pic to PROVE that you actually did it. LOL
  What happened to the unwritten law that said you weren't supposed to tell what your specific political ideal were. Those days are gone.  And since we do have the ability to communicate any and EVERY thought that comes to mind; some people are experiencing a sort of back-lash. In this day and time we need to keep in mind that everyone has the right to their own opinion. Some are going to share those opinions more that others, but when they do... let's not fall into the trap of taking the person's stance so personal.  Just like you have the right to choice, so do they.

It Sure Is Easy To Be Judgmental on Twitter....

Watching TV has become more interesting thanks to twitter.  Most times it's fun to read other people thoughts as they watch the same program. But last night I saw a lot of judgement, and it got me to thinking.  People sure are BRAVE on twitter.  I understand that some people are more outspoken than others, but I bet half the tweets would NEVER be said to that person's face. 
 Last night was VH1's Behind the Music with Toni Braxton.  I saw more than one person tweeting things that I considered to be very judgmental.  Now it didn't help that Toni put 'Mother O' on blast, so that might have cost her any chance at sympathy.  But once she put out there that Oprah (in her opinion) was the reason her music career took a dive, all bets were off.  I just think it is easy to sit in judgement of someone else life, when you haven't gone through what they have. She's not the only artist to suffer from a bad business deal, nor is she the first to file for bankruptcy  The saddest part of all was about her illness.  Until you've had to deal with a MAJOR set-back like that; you have NO IDEA what that fight is like. Not to mention, we have all made bad decisions in our life, some more obvious than others, but before you sit in judgment; walk a block in their shoes... then tweet about THAT!!

It's not easy to 'Keep it Classy'...

   One of my daughters get's a kick out of calling me 'classy'. I think it's a compliment, but I wasn't quiet sure what she meant by it so it made me wonder what was the opposite (slang word) for classy. I gather it must be 'ghetto' or 'keepin it real'.  You know how folks go all bad=they 'keeping it real/ghetto'. Now, for the most part, I do try to maintain a certain amount of composure, especially since it is in my nature to fly off the handle,  but since I am human, there have been times when I didn't and I let the worse part of me take over.  The key element of 'being classy' is to NOT allow myself to be put in certain situations.  If I know there is a chance I might not be able to keep it together, I'm not going go.  Unfortunately, I have missed out on some potential good times, but not sure if the gamble would have been worth it.  I know at times it may have seemed that I didn't care or was unsympathetic to those around, but for the most part I was trying to 'keep it classy'. I pride myself on being the 'bigger person' even when it makes me look like the bad guy.  I have too much at stake to risk my dignity and freedom especially over some bull shiii... *wait, did that sound 'classy'? *shrugs*

I saw this re-tweet  and I thought it was a good way to explain it.

*"In every situation in Life there's always a higher way to deal with it." #UntetheredSoul #SuperSoulSunday~Ms. Oprah via @3LWTV (Lonnell Willams) AKA 'OwnAmbassador'

'What don't kill you...

You know that saying 'What don't kill you makes you stronger'....yeah I don't know how I feel about. It maybe more accurate to state that 'what don't kill you makes you CRAZY!!!' Sometimes, depending on the person, being put through one too many test can push you over the 'edge'.  I'm speaking from experience.  In no way am I trying to make light of mental illness, if anything, we tend to not mention it UNLESS we are making some type of joke about it.  But I'm here to tell ya, it is more prevalent than we would like to realize.  'Whooo sawww'ing and practicing yoga/meditation can only work for so long. Of course I have other things I do to 'settle' myself, but when one or more of those things are not available, I feel like I'm on the verge of breaking down.

I think one of the things that helps me keep it together it the fear of being put in a mental hospital, other wise, I might be running around acting out the above photo. 

Just yesterday there was a report of a shooting inside of a church.  This isn't the first time someone has done that. Shootings have occurred in the parking lot of a church and even at a funeral.  It makes people feel like no place is safe. But this is just another example of someone who couldn't keep it together.  Who KNOWS what kind of 'demons' this person was facing.  But we won't bother with those details. We will mourn the life loose, then keep it moving; until the next person looses control.
We must keep in mind that anyONE of us can 'snap' at anytime...but for the grace of God go I. ~ Ashe

It's been a while....

It's been a while since I've blogged.. I guess I've lost my excitement for it.  I saw that one Famous Blogger that I follow I has decided not to blog anymore. Where does that leave the rest of us? We need to see other blogs for inspiration.  What I'm gonna do now??  I guess I better get myself in gear and try to be more constant.  After all I started this blogging journey as a form of therapy. I got to get out of this funk and WRITE SOMETHING!!  Okay, I'm done chastising myself.  Let me go find something to write about.. Umm Maybe a Poem!!??

'Why I rep the Celtics'

It's been a lotta yrs..but I have been a fan of the Boston Celtic since the 80's.  It all started out of my hatred for the LA Lakers.  I'm not sure WHY I had such a problem with LA but it probably had something to do with the fact that my beloved Raiders had moved there, so I hated everything LA.
The Fakers were in the playoffs..and they just so happen to be up against Boston.  'I'm going for the 'other' team', I told my dad and brother as they watched the match up.  And so my loyalty began.  Here I am after all these years; watching this game 2 of the second round playoffs..tweeting and bloggin; and STRESSING!! OMG!!  It used to be 'fun' to route for my team, but between my Football team (Raiders) and my Basket ball team I'm be bout to pull my hair out. I'm getting old and my nerves aren't what they used to be.
 Okay, I just had to put some thoughts down..because this ain't a game!!! Okay, yes it is but; GO CELTICS!!! 4EVA!!   *tears at the end of this OT game.. Booooo!! *sniffs.

'She named her Natalia'

The radio personality I listen to in Atlanta, Ryan Cameron, reached out to this young lady he saw begging for change one day at a gas station.  Something (God) made him stop and ask her about her situation as to why she was begging for money. He listened as she told him about being in homeless after being in an abusive relationship, having one small child with another one on the way.  The story moved him so he shared with his listeners.  The lady has since had her baby, a little girl which she is planning to put up for adoption.  I too was touched by her story..that I have to blog about it.

When we were slaves, we were forced to give up our babies, so it breaks my heart when I see someone in this day and age choosing to giving their baby away.  I know we like to think that it is for the best, but how can that be 'best'~ being taken away from your family?
That constant nagging, empty feeling.  Who am I? Where do I come from?  These are the things that she is gonna ask once she realizes that she is adopted.
I know that my feelings are deeply rooted in our history, but something just feels wrong about a baby being taken from it's mother/family.  Is there not anyone in her family that can help her keep her baby?  I just can't see that.  
I pray that whatever road this baby has to travel is filled with lots of love. It just has to, because she go so many of Ryan's fans pulling for her and her Mom.  

Sorry, just me being random again.
Peace and Love!!

I Love Coffee..'how do you take yours'?

Okay, I know this is going to be random, but I love coffee and as I was making my usual morning cup; it dawned on me that I make my coffee to match my color.
Let me explain.  I like my coffee to be Strong.  This means after it's brewed, it should be on the 'dark side'..then with the right amount of creamer...  BAM!!  You have a beautiful 'shade' of Coffee.

'Coffee'~Ledisi

What made me think of this? I unno, my brain barely functions until I get Coffee.  But as I was putting the grounds and water into the Coffee maker, it made me think of my grandmas.. When I was a little girl, I noticed that my Creole (light) grandma, used to take her Coffee 'Black' meaning she didn't put anything in it. But my African-American (dark) grandma used to put  lots of Cream and Sugar in her Coffee. I always thought that was a 'trip'.

'Black Coffee'~ Heavy D & The Boyz

Well, as I sip my morning cup; I sit and think of how much I miss both grandmas, and how I'm a beautiful color combination of both. 

And there you have it.. Another glimpse into the mind that is mine.

Peace and Coffee

Soul Train Breakdown

The first time my youngest daughter saw Soul Train, was on the Retro TV station Centric. And this was the episode we saw. The first thing she said was; "Oh, now I know why you dance the way you do.".. Huh? I guess dance styles have changed a lot over the years, but dang, I'm not sure that was a compliment.
In MY DAY!!~Dang, *guess I'm getting old- Soul Train was the thang!! I lived for Saturday Mornings to see who the special guess was gonna be and what the new dance was. In no way was Soul Train consided 'not cool'. I either wanted to be the 'Asian lady' with the long hair or the Tall Black chick with the Afro or a cross between the two. I loved music, but Soul Train made me want to DANCE!!
And I did too, all ova the house (ask my brother). You couldn't tell me I wasn't Soul Train material..LOL Anyway; had to share that lil tibit, I know we all have a story or two; Okay maybe just us 'old people'. *Hmph...

You Let Them Call You Daddy but....Your Own Kids Call You by Name...??

I was watching a movie trailer called Dear Daddy in which a group of females who grew up without a father in their life, were  being interviewed.  One of the young ladies was talking about her feelings and one of the things she said really struck a nerve in me.  She stated that it really hurt her to hear another kid call her father 'Dad' and that he spent all his time (and Money) on his girlfriend and her kids. Since I  have my own 'father' issues, I can somewhat relate to the premise of an absent father; however I don't know what it would be like to hear another child (not related to me) call my dad 'Dad'.  I think that beyond missing Holidays, Birthdays, Plays and Cheer leading competitions; I would have some serious issues with some 'random' girl playing 'daughter' with my dad!! I mean, how you gonna be over there with them folks; like you forgot how to be a Dad to your own children??!!!

This might be why some kids call their parents by their names~~

I grew up calling my parents Mom and Dad ,and I never would dream of calling them by their names, I really think this is a form of disrespect.  When I was younger, I remember hearing one of my cousins call his parents by their names and thinking: 'Oooo, he gone get it now!!' But his parents didn't have a problem with it.  Well, I DO!!
My girls know better than to call me by my name, even though two of them are grown.  I didn't carry you for nine months for you to call me what everyone else does- No WAY!!  The same can not be said for their father though.
So, if you have kids; and they call you by name--- Maybe you need to look at the kind of relationship (or lack thereof) you are forming...It all begins with you.