Monday, February 28, 2011

If I don't Remember You- A Poem by El_boogie

As we get older, the first thing to go is the memory.  Watching our love ones get old can take it's toll on the whole family and can be very stressful.  My own grandmother suffered from Dementia and at the time I didn't understand why she thought I was still a kid (even though I had kids) and she would talk about things that had happened years before like it was yesterday. Looking back it makes sense now, but at the time; we didn't understand how those type of diseases worked.  She never forgot who we were, but she thought we were still young kids. 

Last year I was watching the Tiny and Tonya show and the episode was focusing on Tiny's father who has Alzheimer.  It was really sad to watch her communicate with him and try to get a response.  I could only imagine how that might feel….so I wrote down some words.    *Yes I write poetry too...

IF I DON’T REMEMBER YOU
If I don’t remember you,
            Please don’t hold it against me.
I can only hope you hold enough memories for the both of us.
If I don’t remember you
            Please don’t forget me.
I will be depending on you to tell me who I am.
 If you remember me
            Please tell me; that I was loved, I am love, I still love.
Are we only the memories that we chose to hold inside?
Or are we everything that you need us to be.
If I forget you; let me know that you will remember me.

Dedicated to the Memory of Artonsie Bagby

Friday, February 25, 2011

Should I Still Be Offended?

So, I was at the local Buffalo Wild Wings grabbing a to-go order when I spotted this picture on the wall. At first I didn’t know what was wrong with the chicken until I stepped back to get a better look.  Once I realized the chicken was wearing some sort of ‘dread locked wig’ I was sort of shocked.  Being a person with locs I’m sure I am a bit sensitive when it comes to my hair choice and what it represents for me, so seeing MY HAIR STYLE on a chicken didn’t sit well with me. “Hey, you see this?” I asked my daughter. I’m taking a picture of this.. I told her.. I can’t believe they got the nerve to have this UP here!, I’m thinking as I take the picture.  Well fast forward to this week, when I came across an article about a ‘black owed business’ doing their thang..and what not.  I clicked the link and what do I see? An interview with two brothas that own the Buffalo Wild Wings Franchise.. Now I’m not sure if the own ALL the BWW across America, but it gave me reason to ponder my earlier ‘problem’ with the photo.  Was this the brothas idea of a joke, or some white Marketing dudes idea of being innovative…Either way we can’t win for loosing…our hair always becomes more appealing when represented on an animal.  But wearing locs does NOT make you Jamaican… Nor will it make  your chicken taste any better.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Call Me Grandmacita!

   Well it's no wonder that I decided to blog about this topic today even though I didn't realize that exactly 6 months ago she arrived and turned my world around. Alexys hit the planet and made me a grandma! Okay so at 42 years old I guess I wasn't as 'young' as I thought I was, and I was in NO hurry to become a grandma..."DONT CALL ME GRANNY!!!! was screaming in my ear all while my daughter was pregnant. Well, what the baby gonna call you?..Umm, I unno.. I thought-anything but Granny.. "I'll think of something"...So after some thought... I decided she should call me...Grandmacita!..




But when I try to describe the feeling of being a grandparent~ she can call me Nelly..for all I care!!...Long as she call me..and know who I am. There are NO words that can explain the love you feel
when you hold your baby's baby!!... Unreal.. Just look at that face and TELL me, you would not be in love. Happy 1/2 year Birthday Lexy~~ Grandmacita loves you!!!

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

My Thoughts~ Maybe I Should Get a Gun Too?

I was having a conversation with a family member and he told me that my Aunt had recently purchased a gun. Now, I wasn't quite sure why she felt the need to own a gun and he explain to me why she felt she needed one. From my understanding it has something to do with all the illegal's (Mexicans) in her neighborhood. He said that since she lived alone and had to park her car in a detached garage, she feared for her safety when she comes home late at night. I am sure when she bought her home over 20 yrs ago; she was mostly surrounded by Whites. Now that she is out numbered, well maybe this makes her feel a bit threatened. Now mind you my Aunt is 60 yrs old has not had much experience (that I know of) with guns, so my concern was that she might hurt herself or someone she loves. I asked my uncle if he thought she would be able to actually shot someone and his response was yes! He mentioned that she has been going to the gun range but since she is a 'law abiding citizen' she was inclined to follow the laws as they are written here in California. You are not permitted to carry a loaded weapon on you while entering and leaving your home.

So with this provision in the law, how then is she supposed to "protect" herself? This defeats the whole reason why she even has a gun. So I am not sure how she is handling this situation.

But what I don't understand is; what is the purpose of getting a gun?

I mean, here she is this Christian woman who regularly attends church, is actively involved with the church and its members. Teaches bible study class, but yet she has so little faith in God that she feels so 'unprotected'. I am trying to understand the coalition between being this upstanding God fearing American, and having the 'need' to carry a gun? We no longer live in the "Wild West, where everyone is having shootouts. Now mind you, I live here, I know that there as some areas in which violence is a way of life. But it seems for those individuals who 'choose' to live their lives in constant danger are more likely to die in a violent way; most of the time shot by someone. But when you listen to the Sara Palin's and the Tea Party folks, this is the mass hysteria brewing regarding gun laws the rights of American. We are being led to believe that you have this right to bear arms.. Well the theory behind that may have been a good one initially, but I don't see why so called "god fearing Christians" should be running around ready to shoot at the first person that looks like a Mexican, or anyone else who might be a threat.

    I too live alone and my neighborhood is not the best, but I have never felt the need to own a gun, nor do I feel like I am at risk of being attacked. Maybe I am naive when it comes to these things but if faced with an intruder or an attacker, I don't think I would be able to defend myself in time even if I did own a gun. Instead I try to focus on knowing that I have good spirits around that protect and guide me and also, I try not to give too much attention to negative thoughts.

If you live your life the best way you can, try not to cheat anyone and have an overall good will toward your fellow man, the chances of being shot, or attacked are very slim. And, and; if you did get attacked; wouldn't that be gods' will?? I think it is very sad how we worry so much about what could happen, and yet we fail to realize that we bring all things (good and bad) on ourselves. I just hope my Aunt doesn't shoot some unsuspecting gardener blowing leaves too close to her house.