It's Only a Game... Right"

I am a third generation Oakland Raider fan, so trust me when I say; I understand passion when it comes to rooting for your favorite team. But sometimes things can get too much out of hand. There is, but there shouldn't be a fine line between being being passionate and being an asshole. Lines can get crossed when certain buttons are pushed. Can we just stick to the love of game? Why you gotta bring 'my mama' into the mix? Why you gotta talk bad about my dog?  I mean.. just because YOU like your team.. doesn't mean I can't 'like' my team.
I don't know how many times I've had someone actually turn their nose up at me when I said I was a Raider fan. Well DAYUM!! I was BORN in Oakland for goodness sake. My mama is a Raider fan, and so was my GRANDMA!! Now what?   Two of the strongest emotions are love and hate... and the line between the two is very thin. I woke to straight 'madness' in our chat room today, due to this Saints/Falcons game. Folks from all over tune in and chat, but make no mistake.. you are in Falcon territory.. so, they don't take too kindly about ANYONE saying anything about liking the Saints. I (being a by-product of New Orleans) had to get used to them calling them the 'Aint's. But I learned early on to just keep my opinions to myself. The new folks coming into the chat room don't understand this rule, so today it was like a slug fest. EVERYONE was 'all in dey feelings'!! Come on, how old are we?! It was just too damn much. Rooting for your team should be FUN!! not 'hateful'.
Can we just get back to 'loving the game'?

...'Don't fall in lust, fall in love'....

Someone tweeted this phrase the other day, and my response was; 'why not both'? Now, initially this was posed as a joke, but when I got the response back; 'lust is temporary and love is forever' it really got me thinking. I was SERIOUS about my response. I've experienced both feelings and what I've come to realize it that a good relationship should include both. I mean think about it.. of COURSE you want to be in love and all of that, but to be in 'lust' or to be have someone lust over you is something that you don't want to stop. I want to ALWAYS desire the person I'm in love with and for him to desire me. If not, all you have is someone that you may love and care about, but maybe not be fulfilled in other areas, and that's not good!~  Yeah, I want to 'fall in Love and Lust' and may it last forever.

... Yup, I'm a 'BabyMama'

Yeah, I'm a 'BabyMama' and I've been one way before the phrase became popular. I don't know how I used to revere to myself back then... I certainly wasn't his girlfriend.. He had other chicks inline with that title. Such is the life in Oakland.. especially during those days. But I digress. This is so random, but I have thoughts that I need to get out.
I know a lot of people get offended by the term, and some get down right 'hostile', blaming 'BabyMama's for all that's wrong in the world. But let's us not forget that a LOT of folks were born out of 'wedlock' so to speak, or was certainly conceived before their parents were married and a lot have turned out just fine. I know that considering my situation and circumstances, my children are fine.  None of my girls are promiscuous, they all graduated from High School and so far one has graduated from College. Not bad for a single 'BabyMama'.

I guess some say it's wrong for me to be proud of my position, but hey; if you gonna do it, do it right I always say. And I feel that whatever role you have, you should play it do the fullest. I keep saying I need to write a book to show what it's REALLY like to be a 'BabyMama' and how to do it right. There is levels to this shit... haha.. I like that phrase.  Yeah, I stayed in my lane, maybe too much at times, but it made my life less stressful in the long run. When I see what goes on these days... these side chicks be doing the most, trying to break up relationships, talking ALL the business, I just shake my head. That's not how you do it hunty.. not at all.

The Queen in You"

'You think you bad' is a term I have become familiar with hearing. I don't like being told that, but I guess sometimes I give off a vibe that makes some people think that I am conceited...?? But the way I look at it; I just understand the 'Queen in Me'. Do you recognize the Queen (or King) in you? You must have some level of self love/promotion. If YOU don't think you 'the shit' no one else will.  This blog is in response to whether women in particular are 'Queens' or not. Someone made the comment that not all women were Queens or didn't act like a Queen  Unfortunately, I guess this could be true in most cases, but I think it depends on how you really look at things. I know for me, this personality trait has been hard to maintain (lately) but for the most part, I've ALWAYS known that I was greater than the media portrays us to be, and I try to conduct myself like that at all times.

Now, does this always work.. OF COURSE NOT!! I am from East Oakland with Creole roots, so I have to be EXTRA conscious of the ghetto/rachetchness that I could possibly display when provoked. That's when the REAL badness comes out. But, I'm still a Queen none the less. 
I don't know; just as I say.. my two cents.  

About my Atlanta Experience... WHOOO!!! Last Part

*Turn down for WHAAAT?
Okay, so the last few days of my trip were pretty low key. I just hung at my friends house and tried not to think about coming back home... LOL!! But, we did manage to find our way to Atlantic Station. We just walked around window shopping mostly and then had dinner at 'Moe's'.

I HAD to take a picture of this.. I'm not sure if we have this flavor in Cali, but since I was in GA it just stood out at me. It taste pretty good too. :-)
After eating we just drove on back to the house and I captured a little of the downtown area.

And the last night had us on a 'mission'.. Okay not really but.. we just like to call it that.

and.. last but not least, view from the plane on the way home. Everyone knows how much I love the clouds and taking pictures of them. Well to get some 'above the clouds' pics was AMAZING!!!

A beautiful view to compliment a beautiful trip. One day (soon I hope) I will return to Atlanta. I had so much fun and it was well worth it. Sometimes you can NOT put a price on happiness. As I would sum up my trip as being 'priceless'. Thanks again to EVERYONE who made my trip so memorable. We gonna TUUURNUP again real soon.

Depression is NO JOKE!!

Having to deal with depression is really nothing to laugh at. It is unfortunate that our society still looks at it with comical eyes. 
The other day I posted a comment on my wall. It was really one of those 'sub-post'.. directed at specific individual who was tagged in the post.  I made it seem as if I was screaming through the house, because of something she told me. Then out of the blue, here comes another person with a 'smart' comment. 'Take your meds'.  Umm .. okay. I DO actually take medication.. however.. even though he meant it in a joking way, I was kinda offended by his comment. The point I'm trying to make is; how did he know whether or not I took medication?  He didn't, but these are off handed comments that we throw around too easily.
As I sit and write this blog, I am struggling with the words and the courage to actually post it. Not sure of the 'backlash' I have to speak my truth as I see it. I hope people realize that mental health is just important as physical health. They actually go hand in hand. As I continue to open up about my problems, I hope I can heal myself, and maybe help someone else who's feeling the same way.  

I just saw this quote on face book: 
"Don't let circumstances get you down or depress you. Depression is of the enemy and reflects a weak mind. I know you are strong because you've made it this far. Thru past trials and struggles, you came out victorious. Stay hopeful and KNOW that God provides you with a garment of protection against all things that are not of him, all acquaintances that wish you harm and all financial burdens. Stand tall, come out of your slump and get your mind right."

The quote that stood out about the weak mind, shows an example of the ignorance that is still associated with mental health. So, If you are depressed you have a WEAK MIND!? Wow, really?.. I'm still trying to find a positive way to take that statement, but I still don't see it.  
This is the kind of attitude that prevents us from opening up to people, which in turn, leads to MORE depression. It's just a vicious cycle. 

*I wrote this blog in stages.. as it took many days to compose my thoughts like I wanted to.

About my Atlanta Experience... WHOOO!!! Part V

So late Saturday night/early Sunday morning found me back in the 'A'. One thing is for sure, there is ALWAYS something to do. I had planned to go to a picnic in the Park.. umm., but my plans got a little diverted. One my friends picked me up and we ended up Downtown in the SAME building as V103 at a day party of all things. We made our rounds, I hit a few steps, then we were out.

Where it all began

Fox Theater ATL, we have one in Oak too. :-)

Then we met up with a webmagger who had drove all the way from KENTUCKY to see me!!! Yes, she and her daughter drove 6 hours or so to hang with me for the day.

 

*Me and Derby

And when I say hang, I mean HANG!! We ended up at a Starbucks of all places and stayed there talking until after 2 in the morning. I tell ya, they do NOT sleep in the A. I loved it!!

About my Atlanta Experience... WHOOO!!! Part IV

Day 4 of my ATL experience actually took me to the city of Athens. One of the webmag regs lives in that city which is home of the UGA BULLDOGS!! College football is a big deal in the south so she hosted a Football kick-off party and I was in da house!!! I got to meet a new group of people as well as hang out with more webmaggers. 

*Me and Gem

*Me and CHAR

*Char, Gem, Me and DJ Mack

Next stop, back to Atlanta!!

About my Atlanta Experience... WHOOO!!! Part III

*Me and Ced~ I missed taking a picture with him at Eargasms, so he tracked me down outside of Vanquish.

Vanquish!!!!!
So after partying at Eargasms #7 on Thursday night (well until almost 3am Friday morning), Friday night found us at Happy Hour with Ryan Cameron. It's not uncommon for the 'webmag' to show up at an event Ryan is hosting at and since I was in town, folks were coming out for sure. Meeting people face to face after chatting for years is kinda strange, but we all hit it off right-away.  VIP status and BizMarkie made the night even more memorable. We had a blast!!!

  

                                                                                            

*My First Hooka! Aye!! Turnnup! 

*Me and Vee

  

*Me and my 'TWIN'

*Me and Faithfulbird

*Me and WealthyDivas

*Me and Mo

 

*Me and Kee

 *Me and ATL

WEBMAG4LIFE!!!!!!

Beautiful Webmag Ladies.. *not sure what I was doing in this picture. LOL!!

 

About my Atlanta Experience... WHOOO!!! Part II

 Part II~ EARGASMS!!!

One of the MAIN reasons I went to Atlanta was to get my Eargasms in person. What is an Eargasms? Well, it's the only word that can describe the feeling of listening to one of the BEST DJ's around. Being a fan of V103 I listen to DJ Jaycee's mixes everyday, but I had yet to see him perform other than on the computer screen. When the chance came for me to go to one of his shows in person, I was IN THE PLACE TO BE! Me and the rest of my 'crew' showed up and SHOWED OUT!! I GOT ALL MY LIFE and then some!! 

  *click this link to HEAR all the shenanigans. 
All Jackson Everything (Big Butt Bertha's Quadrasonic Panasonic Live Recording)

 *Me and That dude... DJ Jaycee!!

About my Atlanta Experience... WHOOO!!! Part I

Don't you just LOVE IT when a plan comes together?  I know I do, especially when you have to rely or depend on a group of individuals to pull it of. Well, my ATL trip was a testament to positive thinking and a good organizational skills....
First off, let me say THANK YOU!! to all that made this trip possible. With that being said, how should this go? should I blog day by day, thought by thought?  I am STILL in awe of the time I had, so much so, that it is hard to put into words. One simple phrase.. 'I GOT ALL MY LIFE'!!!!!.

My connection to GA came about due to a radio station and radio personality.  Through the 'magic' on the internet, I have been a loyal listener of V103Atlanta for the last 7 years or so. Ryan Cameron is the catalyst in all of this. The friends I've made is due to listening to Ryan or 'Shabba' and chatting in their chat room.   

 

                                *Webmag4LIFE                       

WEBMAG!!
 This chatroom is known as 'the webmag' and we are 'webmaggers'. We (the regs) would hang out and chat most days. Sometimes they got fancy and put the cameras on, but most days we would just listen. Ryan used to call us the 'lurkers' because when they DID put the camera's on...he would be surprised to see us just in there 'hanging out'. We didn't need no camera...we had each other for company LOL!! Over time some of them  from the room began to meet in person and actually hang out outside of the chat room. I on the other hand had not met anyone other than through Skype or phone calls.
How this crazy, diverse group of people are able to connect and stay connected is beyond comprehension but we are like a family. So when I got the opportunity to go to GA, needless to say... folks showed up AND SHOWED OUT!!! It was like an undercover operation, some of everyone played a part in my stay; from picking me up from the airport and driving me wherever I needed to go, to letting me stay the night at their house. They all showed the true meaning of 'Southern Hospitality'.

*Next stop... EARGASMS... 'Ahhhhh'

What Is Hip Hop.. To Me?"

Today marks 40 years of Hip hop and it made me think, 'what is Hip hop.. to me?' One of the most watched shows on TV is called 'Love & Hip hop' but it's ironic that not much love is shown for hip hop. It doesn't relfect what true Hip hop started out to be. Now, don't get me wrong, I do watch the show, but when I stop to think of the impact Hip hop has had on our society, this show does nothing to inform or inspire the masses, and THAT is what true Hip hop means to me.

Hip hop is the DJ
Hip hop is the the rapper
Hip hop is the breaker
Hip hop is the graffiti artist
Hip hop is the B-boy
Hip hop is the Fly-girl
Hip hop is the swag (sorry had to do it)


Someone might say, 'what happened to Hip hop, or what's the difference between 'rap and Hip hop?  Rap is apart of Hip hop, but the culture that we continue to see is a force that can not be stopped. Anytime you have pop starts that continue to borrow the hip hop style and infuse it into the mainstream, you know that hip hop is alive and well.. THAT shows the power of Hip hop.

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY HIP HOP!!

May your records keep spinning, your rappers keep spitting, and may you forever keep the party jumping!!

Random Pics~ My Oakland"

Here are a few shots of the 'TOWN'..

              Oakland Sky

                 

                                                                                                                                                                                                  Across from Fruitvale Station

                                                                                          

  It had been a while since I was a passenger in the car crossing the Bay Bridge

Twitter is NOT The Devil"

I've heard it said... 'twitter is the devil', but with all things in life; twitter can be whatever you put into it. If you act out of evilness, then it can be all bad. If you have goodness in your heart and use it for 'good' it can be a wonderful tool.
Case in point, someone I went to HS school with who, by the power of twitter and 'positive' tweeting was able to meet OPRAH!! He was a huge Oprah fan and would tweet to her on the regular. One tweet led to more tweets, then a follow back. Once you get the follow back, anything is possible. I'm not sure how long this went on, but one day by chance he was in Chicago. (He travels like crazy) anyway; he's tweeting like normal...and he just so happens to mention that he is in her town. Next thing you know.. this dude is doing 'backflips' on his time line. 'O' sent him a DM (direct message) and he didn't know HOW to act. She had given tickets to the taping of her show PLUS back stage access. Can you say? 'IN LIKE FLYNN'!?! This guy has managed to meet and be an active part of Oprah's show. He is 'Standing in His Light' as he would say.
He was already 'somebody' but now?.. I'm just lucky he still remember us 'little people'. LOL  I hope he is still my 'friend' after this impromtu blog, but.. this is what it is.. a 'random blog'.

*this topic was sparked by a random chat room convo.. hey Mo!!

"Can We Stop Promoting Skittles, Arizona Ice Tea and Hoodies?"

When are we gonna stop putting money in the pockets of people don't' look like us... to 'honor' the memory of someone who does?  As soon as the media got wind of the Trayvon Martin case all you heard about was.. 'he was just walking to the store for some 'Skittles and an Ice Tea'... Arizona in fact'.  And just because he had a 'hoodie', GZ thought he looked 'suspicious'.?? NO he looked suspicious because he was an unknown black boy obviously LOST in the rain, trying to get home.

And now, here we are a year later STILL talking about Skittles and Arizona's Ice Tea!!  I wonder how much their stock prices went up, after this tragedy? And we are STILL making them rich. You want to show your 'support' and stand 'united' with Trayvon and his family, do that. I get that. But, please use your brains and stop going with your 'emotions'. Think. Every time someone buys these items; remember that it's not the family who is profiting.

I'm not gonna even mention the increase in Hooded Sweatshirt sales.  TRAGIC!

"This Is My Oakland"

Here is today's installment of 'This Is My Oakland'. We took a road trip down memory lane. Hit up Lake Merritt and some other spots. Hope you enjoy!

           *Downtown Oakland

Me and my girls hit up Lukas a few months back... Good music+good dancers= great times.








                                                                       *Lake Merritt

Can't measure the time I spent in this this part of Oakland, but It's been awhile since I've been to the Lake and just 'kicked it'.

*OHS Football Field

I experience so many good times on that field. I loved being a cheerleader. GO WILDCATS!!

Meanwhile, Sometime Next Month

I guess I'll throw MY cents into the ring, just to get some things off my chest. The current 'distraction' of the week is the Martin/Zimmerman Trial. And I feel it is just that.. some sort of distraction for us to focus on while other things are going on behind the scenes.  But what I want to know is; how long are we gonna be 'outraged'? How long will we have these 'discussions', like the big fat elephant in the room JUST showed up when Zimmerman decided to play cop.  Come ON people, why is it that we only want to become 'militant' when it's convenient. But things are constantly shown to us on the daily, we have no discussion for that? Why is it NOW we are hearing.. 'what am I supposed to tell my son?' What you should have been telling him since the day is was born.. 'You Black in America and you have to watch your back'. Plain and simple.  There was NOTHING Trayvon could have did differently to avoid being shot, once Zimmerman made it up in his mind that 'they always get away'. His fate was sealed at that moment. And that is the unfortunately reality we live in. 
Once I had a co-worker laugh, when I said that there was parts of HER city that I would prefer not to drive through.. especially by myself. If it looks too rural; I get nervous. I know I can be a comedian at times, but folks laugh even when I'm being serious. The more I tried to explain myself, the more she laughed. I told her, 'naw, you not bout to find my body hanging from one of these Almond trees!!' I was not JOKING! Come to find our later.. oh yeah.. the Grand Wizard of the KKK lived out in that area. o_O  Oh, and I had another friend who didn't understand why I was 'leery' of going around 'gated communities'. If I'm not 'invited'.. I don't go driving around 'all willy nilly; looking like I don't belong. Shoot, them folks will have the police out there faster than you can blink. Nope, I don't fool around. 

Just like we are all up in arms TODAY.. remember that next week and even next MONTH when the next baby comes up dead.  Folks are gonna go back to their lives, back to thinking we're living MLK's dream. Yeah.. we dreaming alright.
Keep thinking you 'free' in America.

"Random Pics~This Is My Oakland

I passed by the BART station yesterday.. I couldn't get a good picture, it's kinda hard to do that while driving.  Folks drive so crazy in Oakland that I can't even snap my pictures and drive.  *rolls eyes, but anyway.. I did snap this one ..

 

Not sure what it's gonna be, probably more parking.  

Hope you like today's installment of random Oakland pictures. Oh and yeah, they are still shooting off fireworks, so here are some pics of the JULY 4th!! Not July 12th!. I have NO idea why they are still doing it, but my nerves.. oh never mind.

              

                                               

'The Movie~Fruitvale Station'

~Today is the limited release of the film "Fruitvale Station". These are my random thoughts. 

Being from Oakland, it's gonna be a trip to see a major film focused on the city I grew up in, but even more so now, since I live in the general area of the Fruitvale Bart Station.  This is the BART station closest to my house, this is MY BART, when I use it. It is gonna be crazy seeing 'my hood' on the big screen!!
When this incident occurred 4 years ago I didn't actually live in Oakland, I had been away for over 20 years. But, as fate would have it, I moved back to Oakland.. and had kinda come full circle in that I ended living in the same area I did when I had my first apartment. 

Near Fruitvale Bart~one night last week

 

Though I lived out of the city, the impact of the death of Oscar Grant was felt all over California. Once again we were reminded of Rodney King, but on a larger scale. We just could NOT believe that cop shot that young man while he was unarmed (in front of so many witnesses!!) Come to find out he was related to one of my cousins. Oakland is big and a small world at the same time. While the out come of the film is sad,  I'm really interested in seeing how they bring the characters and the city to life. Good or bad, I 'hella' love Oakland and I am PROUD to be from such an amazing place.

Who Was Your First?"

Who remembers their first?  I do. I must have been about 13 years old. Hahaha I know what you're thinking, but I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about the first ALBUM you ever remember owning. Mine was Teena Marie~It Must Be Magic. I think a neighbor bought it for me because they got tired of my borrowing theirs. LOL ! I was a teen, what can I say?! Plus it was Teena Marie!! I guess she was my 'Beyonce' at the time. I LOVED Teena Marie and that album was everything for me.
 

 Circa 1981

 I played that album over and over again. That was back in the day when you couldn't WAIT to get to the sleeve part of the album to see if the words were included. YES!! OMG! It was over then. I know folks must have been mad at me, but I had to play it multiple times in order to learn all the words right? And let me tell you.. Teena was DEEP baby! I had no idea what half the things she was singing about, but she SANG to me!! She had to be one of THE first female singers to use RAP in her songs. The title cut of course was the Jam!! and I could NOT sit still when 'Square Biz' came on, and ya KNOW "Portuguese Love" had me 'all in my feelings'. But once you get to the more meaningful songs like; 'Where's California' and 'Yes Indeed' (ending still gives me chills) and revolutionary songs like 'Revolution'; I didn't know which way to go. Hell, Teena probably spark this 'rebellious' nature of mine. She used words that were still foreign to me, and talked about Authors and Singers that I had yet to discover.  She made you think, while she played and sang her ass off. I will still listen to this album (okay CD form now) from beginning to end and let that angelic voice sing to me about all the right AND wrong things in this world.  All these years later and it still rings true.  Yeah, Teena had that 'magic touch'.

I love Burgers!

Just saw a picture posted on Facebook and it reminded me of my LOVE for Burgers, and how 'real' it is. Let me tell you about the birth of my last child.  Okay, I know you are thinking, what does that have to do with Burgers.  But, by now you should know I'm random, but I'll show you how it ties together.
So, here I was 9mos pregnant. DUE!! as they say. Tired, ready to pop... all of the above. I woke the morning 'after' Labor day Sept 1994 with a headache. No, I did NOT go into labor on Labor day, like someone was trying to jinx me into doing, but I digress. I was told by my dr to come in to be checked, just a precaution. Went in, got check out.. everything was fine.. Too fine. the Dr say's 'oh well, you could have it today, or tomorrow.. even next week'.. O_O Those are the last things a healthy BEYOND pregnant woman wants to hear. Just get this thing out already!!. So I go on to my good friends house.. and just hang out... now.. little did SHE know.. I had went into labor. I myself wasn't really sure, you think I would be after 2 previous times, but the dr had given me little hope. 
Me and my friend watched videos, drove around and air for her tires...AND I got a Burger!! By this time I knew I was in labor, and KNEW from all the other times that they won't let me eat. I was like bump that. I would take a bite in between contractions.. when a contraction would hit, I would put the burger down and breathe. By the time I was done with that Burger, I was just bout ready to deliver!! We went to the hospital and I had her in 45 mins! BURGER POWER!!

I THOUGHT I Was A Good Communicator

For some reason lately, I've be having trouble explaining myself. With all the ways we have to communicate, I am becoming more and more frustrated with the lack of understanding I am convaying to people. Since it keeps happening repeatedly, it MUST be me. It just has to be. Maybe I'm an over talker.. could it be that I use too many words and the person I'm talking to only hears. ..'whoomp whoomp whoomp' like an old Charlie Brown cartoon.
One basic form of communication in 'non'-verbal. Soo much can be said, by saying nothing. I've tried this method as well, and depending on the person much of it isn't picked up on. I'm not sure how to rectify this problem, but I know that I have to manage my OWN feelings regarding it. No matter how hard you try, some people will be forever in the dark.  

Random Pics "This Is My Oakland" #3

Two random days of driving has provided me the chance to take some cool photos.. Here is today's installment of 'My Oakland'.  Hope you like them!

Caldecott Tunnel

 

Can you see the 'castle' on the hill.. From the freeway this used to look like Disneyland to me when I was a kid.

*Mormon Temple~from my block

*Mormon Temple~close up