Too Much To Focus

It's been awhile since I've posted anything so I decided to put some word to paper. So many things have happened since the last time, I truly don't know where to start. From world issues to personal problems and health related issues, I've not been able to really focus on one topic. It's just a daily mission to not spiral down to a low energy level. With my already fragile mental state, it's a wonder I've been able to hold things together. I lost two important tools I used everyday to keep me motivated. My dog and my Eargasms.  I find it ironic that I had folks talking SHIT behind my back regarding both, and now they're gone. I hope 'those people' are happy now.  I'm not, but I will be. I know it takes time. I can't really grieve like I need to because I don't want to upset my girls, most of the time I have to hide my tears.
I'm trying really hard to process things as they come. 

I have more things on my heart, but I'll save them for now. My goal is too be more disciplined in my writing, but since it comes from my heart, I don't like to push anything.. I like to just feel it.  I've had to shut off my feelings.. kinda numb, but I'm tired of holding on to my hurt feelings. Time to expose some thangs.  New month, new goals, new opportunities to find my joy again.